Reason and Disclaimer
One of the best pieces of advice I got in the planting phase of our church came from a book called Community of Kindness by Steve Sjogren and Rob Lewin of Vineyard Community Church in Cincinnati.

Chapter 8 “Scaffolding People” talks about one of the phenomena of church planting. Here’s the gist:
In the early days, you will have people come and join you on your journey to begin this church. They will be there in the early days, help you get started, and then, oddly enough, they’ll leave. I thought surely this wasn’t true the first time I read it, but it is.
Scaffolding people (named for the structures that go up during the construction of a building and then come down once it’s finished) come in all types. Some will be energetic, passionate people who seem even more excited than you do about the church. Some will be very kind, meek and dedicated to serving. Some will be pushy and immature. You hang onto all of them because they are all that you’ve got at first. But then some of them will leave, for various reasons.
Some will tell you why they leave and some wont.
Some have great reasons and you love them even more for being honest with you. Some leave because they are trying to do the best thing for their family at the moment. Some leave because they feel a connection to the mission of another church (and that’s a good thing). Some leave because their unchurched family members don’t really understand what you are doing, so they go back to the traditional church and pray that they will come along. Some leave because they found that they were growing at the church they went to long ago and they go back there and give it another try (also a good thing).
Some leave for bad reasons. Some leave because the gospel you preach asks too much of them and you worry about which half-gospel, new age thought they’ll eventually give their lives over to. Some leave because the church didn’t grow fast enough, play the right kind of music or have all the programs that they thought it should have…and you pray for them, that one day they’ll realize that the Church doesn’t revolve around them. Some leave because they thought the church should swallow them, bringing them into community without any effort on their part. They refuse to join a small group, go to a service project or even branch out to meet someone new, then they claim “I just couldn’t find a place at your church.”
Whatever the reason, some will leave and it hurts. It stings and it scars.
My advice? Find peace in knowing that you aren’t the first person it has happened to. Learn if there are things to be learned. Forgive and set your heart free. Then move on.
And keep your head up, because for every Scaffolding person who takes down and goes home, God is faithful to send more patient and kind and faithful people in their place.
That’s been the story of The Orchard.